When Growth Gets Tested

Yesterday opened my eyes to how much I’ve already grown since starting this journey in December.

Yesterday was tough.

I only had five hours of restless sleep and then spent ten hours at the hospital with my mom while she fought breast cancer and had a lumpectomy in both breasts. After surgery, I stayed with her until my brother got home from work.

I had about five and a half hours to sit and wait while she was in surgery. The old me would’ve been all over the Starbucks in the lobby. I would’ve had McDonald’s for breakfast, grabbed fast food for lunch, and used sugary snacks to kill the boredom.

Not this time.

I actually packed my portable kettle and coffee bags to brew my own, but there wasn’t a good place to use it. So I grabbed a black coffee from Starbucks and used the heavy cream I packed. I also brought clean, protein-forward snacks and that’s what I ate all day. I didn’t touch the junk they were selling in the hospital.

I’m proud of that.

But what I’m most proud of?

I had planned to hand Mom off to Jeff when he got home and go cook supper. When he walked in, he informed me he had “stuff to do” and was leaving. Which meant I had to stay.

I told him he needed to stay long enough for me to go eat, and I went to El Sarape with Dawn. It wasn’t planned, but it was a good pivot considering the options in town.

This was my biggest win of the day.

I was mad. I felt unsupported. I felt like my brother was being selfish. And I still made aligned choices.

I ate two chips. I drank lemon iced tea and water. I ate the meat, sour cream, guac, and lettuce from my meal. I didn’t touch the rice, beans, or tortillas.

I could have used my anger as an excuse. I’ve done that thousands of times before.

Instead, I chose growth.

That makes me proud.

The growth is obvious.

My fasting blood sugar this morning was 211. I expected it. It’s been a rough week. I called in sick Monday and have been fighting respiratory junk all weekend. That number is still higher than I want — but it’s not 400.

And that matters.

It shows progress.
It shows stability.
It shows growth.

I know I still have work to do, but that work doesn’t scare me anymore. I feel empowered and ready to finally defeat the sugar demon that’s had a hold on me for years. I am in control of my health now. I’m making decisions that support my body instead of destroy it.

Healing doesn’t happen overnight.

But honestly? I didn’t think it could happen this fast either. I convinced myself this would be nearly impossible. It’s funny how it hasn’t been. It’s been small, conscious choices. Staying focused. Wanting better.

Two months of staying aligned has changed more than I expected.

Yesterday didn’t break me. It proved I’m changing.

I didn’t win because my numbers were perfect.

I won because I stayed aligned.

Journaling Prompts:

Where did I stay aligned when it would have been easier to slip?

Think about:

• A moment you wanted to react.

• A craving you wanted to justify.

• A boundary you almost avoided.

What choice did you make instead — and what does that say about who you’re becoming?

2. What does “staying strong” actually mean for me?

Is it:

• Not crying?

• Not breaking?

• Not eating the chips?

• Or is it something quieter?

Redefine strength in a way that reflects regulation — not suppression.

3. When the storm hits, what grounds me?

List the specific tools you used (or want to use):

• Breath

• Walking

• Protein-first meals

• Boundaries

• Sleep

• Saying no

• Pausing before reacting

What does my personal storm toolkit look like?