Healing Doesn’t Pause When Life Gets Hard
As my mom’s surgery approaches tomorrow, I’m realizing something important.
I’m not pausing my healing.
I’m interrupting old patterns.
Last night I started preparing for a full day at the hospital — supporting my mom while also supporting myself. In the past, I would’ve just eaten whatever was available, lived on vending machines and fast food, and then wondered why I felt awful physically and emotionally by the end of the night.
Not this time.
When I quit my job I gave my portable tea kettle and lunch box to my daughter, so I called her last night to see if she was using it and asked if I could borrow it back for the day. That one simple decision changes everything. Now I’ll have clean water, my organic coffee, and heavy cream instead of relying on hospital food.
I even filled tea bags with my ground coffee so it’s easy and portable.
A couple ice packs, a few cold meals and snacks, and I’m set. I can walk while she rests. I’m bringing my tablet and I’ll have my phone, so I won’t be stuck with nothing to do.
I actually feel prepared.
If something unexpected comes up, I can pivot — but at least I’m not walking into the day already abandoning myself.
Honestly, my biggest challenge tomorrow probably won’t be the food. I’ve got that handled.
It’ll be my ADHD.
I’m not someone who can just sit in a chair for eight hours watching TV or reading. That environment is hard for me. My plan is to walk the halls as much as I can and, if the weather cooperates, step outside for fresh air. Movement is how I regulate. Without it, my brain gets loud and my old coping habits try to take over.
The promise I made to myself is simple:
I am not forgetting about me tomorrow.
I can fully support my mom and still support myself at the same time.
This program was never about becoming selfish.
It’s about learning how to remember yourself in the middle of real life.
I’m not trying to keep a perfect routine.
I’m choosing not to let a day outside my routine derail me.
Healing isn’t proven on quiet, easy days. It’s proven on days like this — when life asks you to show up for someone you love and your old patterns quietly invite you to disappear again. Tomorrow I’m choosing differently. I’m choosing to stay present for my mom without abandoning myself, and that might be one of the most important parts of this journey… learning you don’t have to lose yourself in order to love someone well.
3 Journaling Prompts
When someone I love is struggling, what do I automatically stop doing for myself?
What emotions show up in me when I am not in control of the outcome?
How would I care for myself today if my wellbeing mattered just as much as theirs?
