Pressure
Last night I was feeling really anxious about falling behind.
I started convincing myself that I was self-sabotaging because I’m eating pretty well for breakfast and lunch, but then eating frozen pizza almost every evening and barely moving from my chair at night.
Anyone who knows me knows I NEVER watch TV. Yet somehow I’ve spent the last month sitting in my chair every evening watching 48 Hours murder mysteries.
And honestly? I think I finally hit a wall.
I’m exhausted… but still expecting myself to go, go, go.
I’ve been using ChatGPT as kind of a health coach lately, and last night I dumped all of this into a conversation. One part of the response really hit me:
“Frozen pizza every night doesn’t scream:
‘I’m trying to destroy myself.’
It screams:
‘I’m exhausted and I need easy dopamine and easy fuel because my brain is cooked.’”
Oof. That one landed.
Because when I actually step back and look at the last few months objectively… I HAVE been doing a lot.
Daycare.
The shop overhaul.
Organizing sheds.
Building displays.
Product formulation.
Branding.
Social media.
Customers.
Family stress.
Sleep struggles.
Pain.
Blood sugar swings.
Hormone fluctuations.
Now an ear infection on top of it all.
And somewhere in there, I was also expecting myself to:
eat perfectly,
heal perfectly,
maintain routines perfectly,
finish projects perfectly,
stay emotionally regulated,
and somehow do it all immediately.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on myself.
It might not FEEL like I’m making progress because I still have such a long way to go… but when I really stop and look around, my entire world has been transforming these last few months.
Mind Body Soul is finally becoming what it was always supposed to be.
My sleep IS improving.
I AM becoming more aware of my body and my habits.
I AM slowly adding movement back in.
I AM making better choices more often than I used to.
No, my diet isn’t where I want it yet.
But I think the bigger lesson here is that healing isn’t about trying to become a completely different person overnight.
It’s about learning how to stop expecting yourself to sprint through every phase of growth while your body is begging you to slow down long enough to catch up.
Sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is step back, look at the bigger picture, and realize we are not failing… we are just carrying too much at once.
Journaling Prompts:
Where in my life am I expecting perfection while ignoring the progress I’ve already made?
What habits are actually supporting my healing right now, even if they feel “too small” to matter?
What would my routines look like if I built them around sustainability instead of pressure?
If this sounds like the kind of work you’re ready to step into, you can join us in 365 Days of Me:
